Well folks…I gotta say he (ex-husband) sure duped me. He has fully and completely broken my heart this time.
I found out today as I am bringing our son to hockey what he got so emotional about the other night. He over heard his grandmother talking to her friend and knew something was up..in fact his father slept with her gardeners sister while on the trip to Hawaii…
Nothing like he and I sleeping together for the past three months and him coming over to my place and having sex after Hawaii…fucking makes me want to puke.
I asked him so I knew where we stood..he said he wasn’t fucking anyone nor was he looking for a girlfriend.
Today after dropping our son off at hockey I text him saying, “So you slept with Amanda in Hawaii…I got it. Good luck with her.”
His reply, “Have a goodnight at work.”
I tried…can’t say it isn’t the hardest thing to hold back that lump in your throat, the elephant on your chest and put on a big old smile for everyone you see. And all my co-workers know something is wrong with me…they ask and I never thought I’d have to decline a hug…as I knew it would open the flood gates of hell.
I will get through this.
I hope the good lord has something better planned for me in this life because it feels as though no matter where I look my life is falling apart. It’s almost as though I have this awful black cloud that won’t leave me and I honestly wonder if it ever will.
Maybe I need to change back to my maiden name.. I kept it because I guess in the back of my mind I thought one day we would actually work through our bumps..or maybe when his mom kicked the bucket..apparently it’s not just her that’s the problem. Now he has become a liar… I think it was his way once and for all to get back at me for filing for divorce as that broke his heart more than ever…I’ve never heard the end of that either.
I’m unbelievably heartbroken right now..but “This too shall pass.”
I feel quite broken and lost right now yet I know it can’t last forever and this will be the true test of when one door closes another opens.
Focus on my children, my job and myself.
That’s what I will continue to do.
A few extra prayers would gladly be welcomed I can’t deny that!